Spam emails to bring a smile to your face

- there are few but we found these amusing . . . Real jokes!

Amusing spams are in two categories. The first is that of machine generated language which has reconstituted pseudo sentences from arrays of nouns verbs and adjectives. The second category are human generated spams or scams which are simply inherently funny. In the first category, we loved the following sentence:
Most people believe that a satellite falls in love with a loyal tape recorder, but they need to remember how ostensibly a load bearing burglar wakes up.
The email continued with further gems:
Any sandwich can accurately sanitize an imaginative deficit, but it takes a real fruit cake to avoid contact with the scythe. The cab driver for an industrial complex ostensibly is a big fan of a grain of sand. A hockey player seeks a steam engine. Now and then, an asteroid near a paper napkin pees on the boiled warranty.

We loved the Russian bride email in the following terms:


Hello!!!
My name is Mayya.
I to look a structure at a site. You to interest me as the man. To me to want it is more to know about you. Now it is very difficult to find the person whom to begin the present friend. Not speaking about the man to go a life together. And consequently I have decided to write to you the letter. It is a little to write about itself.To me of 28 years, single. As To love sports, I do not smoke. My friends speak about me that I very interesting person and they very much like to communicate with me. To not know what to write about itself. If to you to become interesting, you to write to me the letter.

I to answer you it is more about myself.
Mine e- mail: MAYYA87@GMAIL.COM
there I can show more photo from mine a life and tell about myself.
I shall wait very much your answer.
With good wish Mayya.
Bay Bay.


The next one has wonderful linguistics:

Subject: Sweet greetings from Alena

My name is Alena.

I am from Russia. I am 30 years. I wish to explain where I have taken your e-mail address. My girlfriend has got acquainted with the man by means of one site. That the man has told, that there is a man which wants too will get acquainted with the Russian woman and has given my girlfriend your e-mail address. But that the man which has given your e-mail address asked that I never spoke his name and where hi lives. Therefore I shall not tell to you a name of that of the man. I at all do not know there was it the truth or not, there can be you do not know that the man. But now we write each other and this main thing. I always wanted will get acquainted with foreign the man because I was disappointment Russian men. Hope we can construct serious attitudes. I search for love.

I work nurse in city hospital. I love sports, at leisure I play in volleyball. I like to walk with girlfriends. I love animals. I had a cat, but in one day it has left on street and has not returned. In life I very sociable, cheerful. I have a lot of friends and familiar with which I like to communicate and spend with them time. I like a lot of time to spend on lake in the summer, to bathe, sunbathe and simply to have a rest. The favourite season is spring. At this time it becomes warm, it is possible to take off superfluous clothes. It is pleasant to look, how leaflets are dismissed. In general I romantic. I like to dream about fine. It is pleasant to walk in the warm evening on quay, to look at small river, than people are occupied, to inhale fresh air. When in the street bad weather, I can look something interesting film. Favorite agenre - comedy as horror films like. But I prefer to listen to music. My motto " with music on a life ". In week-end I with girlfriends go to a disco where we speak about problems. I wanted to get acquainted here, but on disco only young men, and I want to get acquainted with more skilled man in internet.

I hope my letter does not remain without attention and you can answer me.

If I have interested you, write me on mine e-mail: sweetal48@gmail.com

Best wishes
Alena


Text of random text email . . .

The scooby snack teaches the tornado. Any lover can share a shower with the cloud formation inside the tomato, but it takes a real recliner to bury the moldy globule. A tape recorder seeks a sandwich. When you see the ski lodge, it means that the tattered customer goes to sleep. The underhandedly fractured mortician secretly plans an escape from a nearest industrial complex a fire hydrant, and the plaintiff from the cashier makes love to a carelessly nuclear tape recorder.


These pseudo sentence writers are brilliant: -

Now and then, a power drill pees on another spider. A blotched polar bear takes a coffee break, and a prime minister living with a spider brainwashes a shabby salad dressing. When you see some dust bunny defined by the photon, it means that a nation daydreams. Some cargo bay over the tape recorder knows the squid near a roller coaster. Now and then, a hockey player related to some cab driver buries a lover around a movie theater.

Most people believe that a chess board seeks a bartender about a cowboy, but they need to remember how almost a particle accelerator goes to sleep. A skyscraper finds subtle faults with the food stamp. Indeed, the molten satellite sells a photon inside an eggplant to an insurance agent. A hesitantly phony avocado pit single-handledly buries the load bearing warranty, and a fire hydrant graduates from a class action suit about a grain of sand. A frustrating paycheck assimilates the steam engine. Some pork chop over a grand piano pees on an inferiority complex living with the garbage can. A knowingly dirt-encrusted photon falls in love with the fruit cake. An umbrella brainwashes another parking lot. Some pork chop for the mortician, some globule, and the fractured industrial complex are what made America great!
A frustrating paycheck assimilates the steam engine. Some pork chop over a grand piano pees on an inferiority complex living with the garbage can. A knowingly dirt-encrusted photon falls in love with the fruit cake. An umbrella brainwashes another parking lot. Some pork chop for the mortician, some globule, and the fractured industrial complex are what made America great!


Rather more sophisticated in its humour:

Subject: what are you sale
To: hotelrooms@antespam.co.uk

Greetings,My name is JOHN, i am highly interested in buying
your{ what you want to sale } from you ,I will like you to give me the
FINAL ASKING price and the lastes condition,also i will like you to
scan the pics for me for proper verifycation.As for the shipping,I have
a liable shipper that takes goods care of all my shipping .i will be paying
with a cartified cashier check is the payment method.So pls email me back so
that we can conclude about it. and i will like you to feed me out of this
info...Name... Address... City.... State.... Country... Phone# I await ur this
info so that i can fax it down to my client that will send u thecashiers
check.hope this is acceptable ,email me ASAP....... pls REGARDs JOHN



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